10 things I learned from Year 28
No one is going to save you.
After experiencing some very dark lows that I had ever felt this past year, something that I ultimately realized was that as much as my friends, family, and even strangers on the internet loved me, I was the only person who could have pulled myself out of the misery that I was experiencing. I was the only person who could equip myself with all the self-confidence and self-love to remove the negative emotions I was going through. I was the only one who had the power to change my situation so I stopped waiting for someone, anyone to save me and took my life under my own hands to change my situation which ultimately would change my outcome.
It’s not too late to start over.
If you told me that year 28 was going to be the year for me that everything fell apart but I would then have the opportunity to completely rebuild my life, I really did not see it coming. My once self-limiting beliefs would’ve felt like my life was completely over if I had to ‘start over.’ The life experiences I have gone through this year (traveling, moving, etc) have taught me that my life can ‘restart’ at any given moment in my life. Heck, this likely won’t be the only time I decide to scrap my life plans and go back to the drawing board. Society makes us think that we need to have it all figured out in our 20’s. I personally think that our 20s are the best time for us to discover ourselves, again and again… and again. It’s never too late for a clean slate.
You are not asking for too much, you’re simply asking the wrong person.
I feel this one to my core. I’ve been met with ‘That’s too much,’ ‘Your expectations are too high,’ and many statements along these lines when it comes to my dating life. But to be quite honest, I don’t even think my standards or expectations are all that high. I believe that my standards keep me safe. Standards allow me to ensure that my needs are met in the proper relationship. I just realized all along that I was simply asking the wrong people to provide for me.
Nurturing your inner child can bring you joy and peace.
For some time, I never quite thought about my ‘inner child.’ But this year I would start to use my ‘inner child’ - allowing my purest intentions and thoughts to dictate the decisions I would make. One example would be that I finally started looking into acting school. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to live a life dedicated to the arts. The feeling of being on a stage
Do the thing, stop living a life of fear.
Wow, I lived a life full of fear for as long as I remember. I mean, being afraid of the future is a very normal and natural human experience. We fear and often resist change in our lives. But I realized that I’ve been the one holding myself back from all the things I wanted to pursue.
Your life doesn’t have to make sense to anyone, but you.
I have been working on relinquishing the desire to be understood. I realized, everyone always has an opinion on your life. But the one opinion that should matter the most to you, should really be your own.
Let things be.
For as long as I can remember, I loved being in full control of my life. I knew exactly what was going to happen, day in and day out. I could easily self-sabotage my life so that all the outcomes were predictable. I left no room for spontaneity. For something to surprise me in my path. Letting go of control is much easier said than done. And for me, it’s quite a difficult thing to do. But for the last year, I stopped trying to make sense of every
Fill your own cup before trying to pour in others’.
This was a huge lesson for me. I realized how socially burnt out I had become. I would often bend myself backward to appease others. To make plans work for others. But I rarely ever asked myself, is that okay for you? Do you feel good about this? I realized that taking time for myself was never selfish at all. It was a mere necessity in life. Whenever I feel depleted by any means, I make sure to take the time to take care of myself. I know that by doing this one step, I can show up more authentically for others.
Be your biggest cheerleader.
Seeking validation and praise from others is a very natural desire. It’s why we post on Instagram and wait for the comments and like notifications to come pouring in. I realized that oftentimes, I was my biggest critic, not a cheerleader. Instead of telling myself, ‘You can do this, I believe in you.’ I was likely the first person to knock myself down from my own dreams and desires. Once I started being my own advocate and cheerleader, I could see myself more joyfully pursuing my passions. Cheer for yourself, there are enough critics out there.
None of it goes as planned.
Just as I have worked on letting things be, I also realized that most of my worrying and anxious planning was often in vain. What I worried about for hours and spent many days asking others for advice, well - life just simply pushed on and what was meant to happen, would just happen.
